I guess it was some point at the beginning of this calendar year, then it got exacerbated a bit when Google decided they were going to unceremoniously start pulling blogs for posting 'unauthorized' music. That's when I think the blog became a bit more general in tone and less about what constituted much of the first two years here. My bullshit.
But last Tuesday morning my mom passed away and I'd be wholly remiss if it wasn't mentioned here in some manner, much the way my dad's passing in 2006 became the impetus for starting this thing. See, I needed a distraction then. A way to move on. Or just think.
Honestly, I don't think I've broken down yet since receiving the all too classic 2:30 am phone call from a dead sleep. All I could mutter was "Oh..." when the woman on the other end of the line placidly told me she had passed. I layed in bed wide awake for an hour dumbstruck until about 3:30 or so when I just gave in and realized sleep wasn't going to reappear.
I did have forewarning this was to happen though and was planning on a last-minute emergency trip to the hospice in New Jersey. But she beat me to liftoff, almost sparing me a tortured bedside goodbye. I mean, how do you just say 'goodbye?'
To know my mother you'd realize just how much music informed her life - classical music, mostly. And while our tastes quite often diverged, there were bridges through impasses that we shared, largely by pushing something new (or new, old) in her direction. Later on we found another musical bond among standards whose graceful melodies and timeless wisdom seemed ever ripe and valuable.
So, much like ACDC found a way to move on after the death of Bon Scott and reinvent themselves, perhaps the passing of my mom will get some of this back in the direction it once held and we'll go about DJing some downloads daily.
I mean, if Google does pull the plug, that's OK. We're moving servers soon and we've got huge plans for the new year. (Really. You'll be quite surprised.) I guess I could use the time to focus.
This week though, while we're still alive and breathing, a tribute to my lovely, if not persnickety, mother and some music middle-grounds we reached.
That I miss already like you can't imagine.
Chet Baker - You Go To My Head (Mp3)
Chet Baker - The Touch Of Your Lips (Mp3)
Chet Baker - You're Mine, You (Mp3)
Chet Baker - Everything Depends On You (Mp3)
Chet Baker - Alone Together (Mp3)
